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mufdiver69er2 63M  
1953 posts
6/18/2018 3:31 pm

    Quoting  :

sometimes ya hafta wade thru some downer to get at a nugget of inner truth....cause life cant always be without downs as well as ups..yin and yang,rite?

woop woop


clittywhisperer1 59M
1415 posts
6/18/2018 3:32 pm

Introspection in able to find out why you choose to do things that harm your real soul in never a downer. It should be applauded because from it can come growth , and hopefully a whole person . best of luck


japaneseass 56F  
50231 posts
6/18/2018 3:53 pm

ya..i get it...

sex, itself, is becoming to be disposable...you know...it's like no value in sex...it's the same way you got to scratch the itch...it's convenient, when it's available...but that's about it...

and those young girls ain't helping much...men go ga ga over them...it fuels men's perspectives...i am pretty sure, she posted as a click bate...and she is succeeding it...but i see no quality in it at all...

i don't consider you are a downer...i would rather hung around and talk to you, than those young girls who seeks attentions only...at least i feel your soul...


eatshittake 53M
10 posts
6/18/2018 4:23 pm

humans have it the hardest on this planet. animals don't talk. they rely more on intuitive, body language and probably that mental telepathy shit. what i trying to point out is that our level of connection is difficult. you have heard, if you never ever touch the baby the baby will die? for me lack of touch for the most extreme has caused me totally focused on sex being the answer when in fact it is touch. female touch. for it is sexual, it causes electricity to shoot through me. (blow job will be nice, but in reality not mandatory).


devious789 34M
7 posts
6/18/2018 6:18 pm

Very interesting topic.


bulehyatt 65M
1717 posts
6/18/2018 7:11 pm

This is probably why I've had a lot of sex I didn't want to with men I didn't have much of a developed relationship with. I also noticed that in those cases the sex felt empty because of that

You have a good brain with many perceptive insights, Lady_Jayne. Certainly a brain capable of drawing a line between the past and present. Learn to forgive yourself . . . slow down . . . reflect further . . . change unhelpful behaviors . . . learn, grow . . . and become happier more frequently.

It doesn't have to be a light-switch that's either all the way on or off. Behavior can be more like a dimmer that you dial the intensity differently on.

Either way, slow down . . . use that high-powered brain . . . and put some preventive road-blocks in place to reduce the risk of back-sliding. For instance, I like to have a drink or two after dinner - typically whisky; sometimes, red wine.

I watch my weight carefully because I used to be fat in a former life. So I've mostly cured the habit of mindless-eating; snacking when I'm more bored or distracted than actually hungry. Sure, alcohol is purely empty calories. But I work hard in the gym - 6 days a week - so that I can indulge my alcohol vice and enjoy other pleasures like chocolate.

Never a problem with empty snacking if I stick to 2 whisky's. But I've noticed that if I get in that zone and help myself to a 3rd or 4th drink - which gets me buzzed - I frequently find myself in front of an open refrigerator-door, wolfing down left-overs.

OK, sometimes that happens. But better that it happens LESS often. So I put a post-it note by the refrigerator door-handle with the question: "How many drinks have you had ?" Just that small reminder is generally enough to remind me that I'm probably not actually hungry - more like buzzed and not thinking clearly.

Perhaps self-imposing some sort of rule on yourself . . . like the old-fashioned one about not fucking before the 3rd date (2nd date ?) . . . would help you to avoid sexual-encounters that leave you feeling empty.

Nothing wrong with breaking your rule(s) and fucking someone, spur of the moment. But slow down and think things through.

As Rita Mae Brown so cleverly observed: Insanity is doing the same things over and over again . . . and expecting the outcome to be different.

Stop and think. Don't make excuses! After all, YOU are responsible for your own happiness. Your capable brain is a gift. Put it to use, constructively.


jolielaide 52F  
1754 posts
6/18/2018 10:04 pm

we're all looking for some type of connection during our time on this planet whatever the journey. as human beings, i think we all have a need to share and express ourselves to a certain extent. however, i disagree with you though on you're not being able to attract with anything else other than sex. lady_jayne, you are unbelievably articulate and your sense of humor is whip smart. your self-awareness allows you to show compassion for the feelings of others even at the expense of yourself. and that is way more valuable than the sex between your legs.


Amaveryoralguy 45M
113 posts
6/19/2018 1:59 pm

Sex is amazing and we should do it as much as we can til we cant


prohibitedtyme 46F
201 posts
6/21/2018 11:26 pm

I feel you. I consider myself lost when I get like that. I had to find my way off that path since I was never taught or shown that other path, and sometimes I still take some short cut that puts me back in the middle of nowhere. I think I'm standing in the middle of nowhere now. I have a lot of empty space....now all the way, but still a lot. I think that empty space takes away the enjoyment for something that is meant to be beautiful art. A lot of you said a lot of good stuff. A good connection with a kindred spirit is definitely what I desire. This site may be my shortcut that leads me right back to the middle of nowhere. I need to find my way back to that right course for me.


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